老耿为你点评：前言与标题
<p align="center" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt -5.25pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: center;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">老耿为你点评：前言与标题</span></b></p><p align="center" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt -5.25pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: center;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"><br></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt -5.25pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"> <wbr>学员朋友们：</span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt -5.25pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"> <wbr> <wbr></span></b> <b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"> <wbr>晚上好！我是长安老耿。欢迎朋友们如约来到<font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"></span>语音<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1</span>号教室。今晚我值班，点评一篇学员起草的讲话稿，标题是《在全省秸秆饲料化利用现场推进会上的讲话》。这篇稿子的主要问题在于前言和文内标题。现在，请大家看讲话稿。我一边点评，一边进行修改。不妥之处，请作者和学员们批评指正。</font></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt -5.25pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: justify; text-indent: 32.25pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"> <wbr></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt -5.25pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: justify; text-indent: 32.25pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"><br></span></b></p><p align="center" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt -5.25pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: center;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">在全省秸秆饲料化利用现场推进会上的讲话</span></b></p><p align="center" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: center;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">**</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">省农业委员会 <span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">***</span></span></p><p align="center" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-align: center;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">2014</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">年<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">*</span>月<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">*</span>日</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">同志们：</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">今天，我们在<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">**</span>县召开秸秆饲料化利用现场推进会，主要是<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">,</span>再一次分析秸秆饲料化利用开发的必要性，相互学习，相互交流，进一步剖析存在的主要问题，统一思想，提高认识，强化措施，加大秸秆饲料化利用力度，推动秸秆养畜快速发展。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">问题：前言部分对会议目的的阐述，层次不够分明。改为三个层次：</span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">今天，我们在<font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">**</span>县召开秸秆饲料化利用现场推进会，主要目的是<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">,</span>进一步提高对秸秆饲料化利用开发必要性、重要的认识；学习、交流、推广秸秆饲料化利用开发的好经验、好做法；针对秸秆饲料化利用开发存在的主要问题，采取得力措施，加大秸秆饲料化利用力度，推动秸秆养畜快速发展。<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</span></font></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">我们再看下面这一段<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="仿宋_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</font></span></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(255, 102, 0); font-size: 16pt;">目前，我省乃至全国牛羊肉消费需求仍快速增长，特别是价格持续上涨，必须下大力气推进肉牛肉羊标准化、规模化养殖，确保牛羊肉基本自给。牛羊养殖消耗大量饲草料，开发利用农作物秸秆，推广秸秆养畜模式，发展节粮型畜牧业是基于我省资源特点的现实选择，大有潜力，大有文章，大有可为。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">上面这一自然段，是对加大秸秆饲料化利用，大力发展节粮型山地畜牧业重要性的概述。这段话与下面的讲话内容重复了。可以删去。这样，使得讲话的前言部分，更加简炼。<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</font></span></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 28.15pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">下面，我就加大秸秆饲料化利用，大力发展节粮型山地畜牧业，讲几点意见。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 黑体; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">一、</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 黑体; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">农作物秸秆饲料化利用开发的必要性分析</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">标题不妥，是推进会，不是学术研讨会。没有必要进行什么“分析”。改为：</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">一、进一步提高对秸秆饲料化利用开发的必要性、重要性的认识<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</font></span></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 15.75pt; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; font-family: Tohoma; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 10.5pt;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">我省</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">高原山地居多，是全国唯一没有平原支撑的省份，素有“八山一水一分田”之说</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">，土地资源条件有限，但秸秆资源丰富，每年</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">约有<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1100</span>万吨农作物秸秆可作家畜饲料综合利用</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">。长期以来，农业部和省政府从促进资源综合利用、提倡发展规模化、集约化、节粮型山地畜牧业、推行退耕还草、退牧还草的政策下，保障畜产品供给、节约粮食资源、保护生态环境的大局出发，作出大力推进秸秆养畜的战略决策。同时、充分利用农作物秸秆等再生资源发展秸秆养畜，不仅可以生产肉、皮、毛等多种产品，而且使农作物秸秆实现第二次增值。在饲料原材料价格上涨的条件下，可以降低畜牧业养殖成本，提高资源利用率，而且对促进畜牧业可持续发展和良性循环意义重大，农作物秸秆资源的综合利用十分必要。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 31.5pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">1</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">、有利于解决饲草料不足，减轻天然草地压力，保护生态环境的问题。</span></b> <b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">标题有语病，改为：</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">1</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">、有利于解决饲草料不足的问题，减轻天然草地压力，保护生态环境。<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</font></span></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 31.5pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">发展牛羊养殖，饲草料至关重要。我省年约有<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1100</span>万吨的秸秆养畜利用</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">(</span><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">这句话表述不够清楚，究竟是<font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1100</span>万吨秸杆已经得到利用了呢、还是可供利用呢？结合上文，应该是后者。因此改为：</font></span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(51, 153, 102); font-size: 16pt;">我省年约有<font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1100</span>万吨秸秆可供养畜利用</font></span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">)</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">，</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(1, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt;">2013</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(1, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt;">年秸秆养畜饲用总量达到</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">477</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">万吨</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(1, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt;">，其中经过青贮、氨化微贮加工处理的比例达<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">43.36%</span>，</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">按<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">3</span>吨秸秆饲养<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1</span>个牛单位的标准，可饲养<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">159</span>万头牛单位的草食牲畜。根据每年草地监测数据显示，天然草场出现退化，人工种草工程起步较晚，对自然资源过度不合理开发等一系列问题，制约了草食畜牧业发展。因此，为了使草地得以休养生息，保护生态环境，我们必须加大秸秆畜牧业的发展力度，大力发展秸秆畜牧业，减轻草地压力，保护草地生态环境，促进草地生态系统向着良性循环发展。在<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">2008</span>年百年罕见的雪凝灾害后，我省各地对秸秆资源的利用有了一个全新的认识，各地纷纷加大了秸秆贮备和机具的购置、窖池等基础建设和秸秆处理技术的推广工作，对秸秆加工利用和冬贮工作引起重视。近年来，</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">我省共安排<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">18</span>个县开展秸秆养畜示范工作，全省秸秆养畜项目总计投入资金<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">2571.43</span>万元。</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(1, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt;">有力支撑了牛羊养殖业发展。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 33.9pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">2</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">、有利于减少饲料粮消耗，有效缓解粮食安全供给压力。</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">在养殖业刚性增长和加速转型的推动下，我省配合饲料消耗量持续增长，玉米等能量饲料供应趋紧，优质蛋白质饲料原料主要依靠省外。未来粮食安全问题的核心是饲料粮，而饲料问题的本质是粮食问题。利用秸秆做饲料可以缓解粮食压力，可以说，农作物秸秆是一项大量的永续性的宝贵资源。秸秆的利用不仅会带动传统农业向现代农业转变，促进农业生产的可持续发展，而且还可为畜牧业提供大量的廉价原料，促使其向规模化、商品化、产业化方向发展，从而带动农业结构乃至整个农村结构的变革，形成农村经济的一个新的增长点。从<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">2008</span>年</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">开展秸秆养畜示范项目建设</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">以来</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">**</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">省养畜综合利用秸秆累计为<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">2400</span>万吨，按<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">5</span>公斤秸秆的营养价值折合<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1</span>公斤饲料粮（以玉米为准）计算，可节约饲料粮<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">480</span>万吨，按目前我省每公斤玉米价格<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">2.60</span>元计算，可为广大养殖户增收<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">124.8</span>亿元。</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">节粮效果显而易见。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 31.35pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">3</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">、有利于饲料化利用，过腹还田，实现了变废为宝，同步提升了经济和生态效益</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">。</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">(</span><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">这个标题的语病在于误用了两个“了”：实现了、提升了。“了”在时态上，是过去时，也就是已经完成了。误用了“了”字，使得这个小标题<font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">3</span>和小标题<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1</span>、<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">2</span>，在时态上不一致了。因此要删去这两个“了”字。改为：</font></span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">3</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">、有利于饲料化利用，过腹还田，变废为宝，提升经济和生态效益</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">)</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">。</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">秸秆逐年再生，数量庞大，用则为宝，弃则成害。我省每年秸秆产量约<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1100</span>万吨，如用<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">2013</span>年秸秆养畜利用的比例达<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">43.36%</span>为例。<b>从经济效益看，</b>一是秸秆本身的效益，普通秸秆按每吨收购价格<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">400</span>元计算，每年增加农业产值<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">19.08</span>亿元。二是牛羊养殖增收的效益，三是秸秆养畜是以养促种的有效途径，通过过腹还田提供优质有机肥，减少化肥施用，提高农产品质量和数量，为农业可持续发展创造了基础条件。<b>从生态效益</b></span><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: red; font-size: 16pt;">层面</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; font-size: 16pt;">多余，删掉<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="仿宋_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</font></span></span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">看，</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">每年农作物倒茬时期，地方政府都要投入人财物制止秸秆焚烧。如可利用的秸秆<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">1100</span>万吨果直接焚烧，</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(1, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt;">将排放</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">1800</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">万吨二氧</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(1, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt;">化碳，造成严重的环境污染。在城市郊区、交通干道周边地区，通过大力发展秸秆养畜，很好地解决</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">秸秆集中焚烧带来的污染问题。</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">**</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">为喀斯特岩溶山区，山高坡陡、土层薄，生态环境极为脆弱，石漠化严重。以前农户放牧养畜和生态保护是一对矛盾。近年来，我省通过秸秆处理综合利用，大大改变了过去传统的饲养模式，变放牧为舍饲或半舍饲，使<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">**</span>石漠化治理等项目顺利实施，农户增加了养畜量，项目区的人居环境、生产环境、生态环境都得到显著改善，实现了经济效益与生态效益并驾齐驱的良性循环。</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">秸秆养畜促进牛羊养殖业稳定发展，增加牛羊肉和奶类供给，还为国家实施草原生态保护战略创造了条件。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: Tohoma; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"> <wbr> <wbr> <wbr><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"> <wbr></span></span></b><font face="黑体" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"> <wbr> <wbr> <wbr></span></span></b></span> <b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">二、发展中存在的主要问题</span></b></font></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 35.85pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">我省各地积极开展了秸秆</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">饲料化利用</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">工作，虽然发展势头良好，但</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">我们要充分认识到，秸秆养畜联结着种养两个产业，随着生产方式的转变和生产结构的调整，秸秆养畜工作出现了新情况、新动向和新要求，还有一些问题亟待解决</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">。<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"> <wbr></span></span> <b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">新情况、新动向和新要求是什么？它对解决问题有帮助吗？如果有，应具体说明；如果没有，这一句删去<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</font></span></span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 33.9pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">1</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">、</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">宣传推广力度不够</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">。</span><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">(</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">标题错在“文题不符”：标题是<font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">宣传推广力度不够，文的内容却是</span>广大农民认识不高。改为</font></span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">：</span><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">1</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: green; font-size: 16pt;">、广大农民认识不高，宣传推广力度不够</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">。<b>建议在文中增加“宣传推广力度不够”的内容<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="楷体_GB2312" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">)</font></span></b></span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">由于我省是传统的分散的小农区，长期以来畜牧业都是农业的附属，农民养牛基本是为耕田，广大农民对秸秆还田综合利用的认识不够，对焚烧秸秆的危害性认识不深，这是制约我省秸秆饲料资源综合利用的内在因素<b>。</b></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 36pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">2</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">、秸秆废弃率高，收集运输难度大</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">。据调查，我省秸秆多被家畜践踏粪便污染废弃，有些山区、远田远土由于收获和运输困难造成秸秆就地焚烧。此外由于群众习惯将秸秆堆放于田间，缺乏科学的加工调制方法，秸秆霉变及叶片损失十分严重。尤其是我省主产的玉米秸秆的种植地块，山高坡陡，运输工具设备无法进入，由于收获运输的困难，长时间放置于野外露天，处理不及时易造成大部分营养损失，其丢弃较多。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 33.6pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">3</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">、</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: rgb(255, 102, 0); font-size: 16pt;">我省</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">秸秆机械化加工程度低。</span></b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">我省处于山区，收获的季节加上多雨，必须有足够的运输、加工农机才能保证秸秆及时加工处理及贮存，秸秆加工机械的保有数量少、普遍功率偏小、一次性投入较高、配置分散、功率效率较低、使用率低且故障率较高。</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">目前玉米秸秆等农作物秸秆主要靠手工收割，不仅费时费力费工，而且在秋收抢农时常常是由于玉米秸收获不及时造成养分大量流失，影响了贮制的质量。只有少数养殖大户购置了秸秆收获、加工、饲喂类机械装备，机械化作业程度普遍较低。</span><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;">近几年我省各级政府支农惠农政策力度不断加大，农业机械的整体价格仍然偏高，需加大对畜牧业农机化补贴资金。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 36pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; letter-spacing: 0.5pt; color: black; font-size: 16pt;"></span></b></p>**** Hidden Message *****<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;"></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">谢谢大家！</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">我的点评就到这里。</span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 32pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">谢谢朋友们，祝大家晚安！</span></b></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: break-all; line-height: 21.600000381469727px; color: rgb(73, 73, 73); font-family: 'Microsoft YaHei', 'Helvetica Neue', SimSun; text-indent: 224.9pt;"><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">2014.6.14</span></b><b><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 32px; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; color: rgb(76, 76, 76); font-size: 16pt;">于长安茅庐</span></b></p> 新人最希望有老秘手把手评改文章，估计本文要火。代为设置部分隐藏，争取把新人的文银都花光。 实战操练，循序渐进，新人最需要的就是这样的实战指导，知道写成什么样，并且知道为什么这样写。 新人就是需要这样的详细教程，结合实际案例，实战操作， 改评例文，等于手把手教写作，收获很大 我是新人，希望能多登出一些类似的实例，很有帮助！ 看看老耿下面的修改。 余之舰 发表于 2014-7-1 23:27看看老耿下面的修改。
不妥之处，还请拍砖。你多拍几下，老耿就成“砖家”啦！问好！ 这样的文章收获最大了 这种方式最好
简单直接
重点突出